Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
