We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
