I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
