I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
