So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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