We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
