I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
