Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
