Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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