Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
