I need help removing her.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
