She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
