Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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