It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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