just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
