I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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