So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
