last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
