Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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