You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
