I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
