This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
