Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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