the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize