Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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