come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
