don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
