He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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