Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
