I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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