enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
