Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
