If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
