eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
