I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
