I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
