Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize