That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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