thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We had sex on a dog bed..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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