The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
