Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
