dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
