Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
