It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
