hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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