taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
