I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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