I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
