lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize