I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
