I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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