This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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