bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
