i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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