what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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