My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
