Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
