she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
