Screwed.edu
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
