I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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