We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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