It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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