hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
