Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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