Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
