can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
