the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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