If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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