It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize