please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
