WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
