I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize