Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
