he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
